The Vortex party

Transcript of Paul Bradley's speech

 

[Billy (Jenkins) makes the introductions.]

"Please welcome on the stage Mr Paul Bradley."

[Cheers and applause]

"Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen. It ill-behoves me - a mere thespian - who occasionally masquerades as a musician - to speak to you tonight, but as I don't know what behoves means I'm going to.

"Music lover, bone viveur - all round great person... [someone in the audience hisses 'shhh!']...but enough of me", Paul continues. [More laughter]

"We're here to talk about David Mossman..." [Dramatic pause for raucous cheers in the audience. "Thank you..." Paul acknowledges.

"I was going to write a speech, but I didn't really have time, so I took notes from the 'Who's Who of British Jazz'.

"Born David Mossman, in Poplar, East London to Arthur and Ivy..." [Cheers from relatives in the audience] "David had a frugal childhood - he wore sugar sacks for nappies [laughter] and he was ten before he realised he wasn't called Tate and Lyle. [Raucous laughter again]. Thank you. As an East End family they never wanted for anything - except Uncle Ron, who was wanted for burglary.

"David was a child actor, playing a street urchin - with Dirk Bogarde - in the film 'Hunted' - and his Rank charm-school training has stood him in good stead ever since.

"The young David had many jobs - as a trainee photographer, a messenger in Fleet Street - and a black cab driver - acquiring 'the knowledge' in under the required time. And, in fact, he still earns a living by driving people away!" [Laughter].

"He opened the Vortex in 1984 and began presenting music in 1988. David's own musical taste runs the gamut from A to B.

[Laughter - and Paul pauses...] "I didn't write this." he says apologetically.

"It was at the Vortex that David struck gold - running a club that was to provide a rich vein of musical delight - and financial disaster. This trendy, state of the art premises are a tribute to David's inventive DIY and Gaffer tape.

[Laughter and applause]. "Thank you madam."

"But David has always remained a charming host - introducing such culinary inventions as 'soup in a basket'. One night he stood scratching his bottom behind the bar, and a customer asked - 'Have you got itchy ass?' David replied, 'No mate - just what's on the menu.' [Laughter]. "Hey!" Paul exclaims.

"Do you serve shrimps?" another asked. "Sit down mate - we serve anyone."

"David's generosity towards local community projects is legendary. When businessmen asked for a contribution to the new swimming pool, David immediately gave them a bottle of water." [Giggles in the audience.]

"The next bit of the entry goes...David Mossman's contribution to British cultural life.

"1. The innovative bi-sexual toilet - [general hilarity and cheers and applause from the audience] - which is - by EEC directive 2114 - mandatory for all ramshackle jazz venues.

"As a frustrated musician himself, David always provides vocal accompaniment to the quiet solos.

"David is that rare thing - a music host. He often boasts that the Vortex is 'the home of British jazz' - and, if home is where the heart is, then David is the heart of British jazz - providing vital enthusiasm for the musicians who play here [Hear! hear!] - supporting the creative talents of a wide range of new and established artists - making this an extraordinary place.

"I'd like to say - 'raise your glasses' - long live the Vortex - and long live David Mossman!'

[Cheers, applause, whoops and much banging on the tables. Paul presents David with the waistcoat.]

"From everyone - with great love."

The Vortex brings jazz renaissance to East End

The Vortex party 14 March 2000

Paul Bradley's presentation speech

Letter to The Vortex May 2004